Yeaahhhh....

Wow.. How the mighty have fallen!
I have totally and utterly returned to old patterns! I'm trying to search for a reason as to why and try and explain it away with excuses.. Can't really find anything with any substance. "I'm just sick of the gym"
"I can't be bothered" "I don't want to cook" PURE LAZINESS!! Probably ontop of stress it's not that good a combination! It's my perfectionist curse kicking in! If you can't do it perfectly then give up cause you'll never get there!
Super flop..

I do not even want to tell you what I have been eating! Well tonight I had KFC.. For afternoon tea I had two bags of smiths chips, an Easter bunny and a green apple. For lunch today I had a massive container of spaghetti bolognaise. For breakfast I had an English muffin one half with bacon and one with peanut butter. Tried to eat some vaalia 97% fat free yoghurt but it was so gross..
Yesterday I had pies, veggies & mash for dinner. Cannot tell you how long it has been since I had frozen pies!!! And not in a good way I felt so shit after! For lunch I hd Maccas.. Breakfast I had an English muffin with Vegemite & peanut butter and some strawberries..
The day before I had soup for dinner (yay for frozen pre made healthy portions) for lunch I had KFC.. Erghh.. And for breakfast I had nothing.. I went to make a smoothie and my blender was dirty still.. So I just got distracted.
KFC makes me suicidal.. That's how bad I feel after I eat it! I wish I could make myself vomit just to feel better.. But for some reason I crave it!

I've been searching for some magical way out.. I need help.. Thinking of a round of 12wbt.. Changing Gyms now we have moved I could go to Camden may freshen up my drive to go it being nice and close.. Some detox products like skinnymetea or lemon detox something to get my tummy feeling better I need a serious flush!.. I'm drowning! In my excuses.. Returning to that place I was 2 years ago I can't get out and do anything or make good choices and then I hate myself!! I feel so huge :-(

I really want to sign up to the next round of Michelle bridges 12wbt but don't have the money.. Feeling like maybe that could give me the drive I need and I love her mindset videos! It's a weekly thing so you keep motivated.. Menu plans are done for you and one of my biggest excuses is the fact that my husband can't stand my healthy cooking.. So I don't bother.. I've given up and I hate it I want to change!! Just feeling so overwhelmed and its hard to resurface once you get into that hole..

I made this plan to sign up to all these events to try and motivate me to get fit again but once again can't afford the extra money to sign up to an $80 triathlon! :-(

I just wanna curl up in a hole.. I see all these people's before and after photos and really want that amazing result for myself! I look at so many and then just reign myself
To failure without starting.. No way would my life let me achieve such a goal I've got too much shit to deal with.. Just not in a good place.. Sorry I haven't blogged in a while but it's hard for me to share my weakness.. I want to be strong and I want to motivate people but I guess being honest portrays a real journey.


http://www.trimmedandtoned.com/kelsey-byers-weight-loss-guide-from-fitness-beginner-to-fitness-professional

Kickin' Back

So for all my gung ho posts I got the super flu!! I've been totally out of it for the past 2 weeks! Haven't been to the gym in a week or exercised (apart from work cause holy shit that's a workout) I've been wanting to go for walks to keep myself moving but pass out before I get a chance!
It started off sore throat then turned into this massive head fog.. Headache then serious fatigue.. Couldn't talk and had a throaty cough! But I really can't believe how tired I have been! Admittedly I have been working full weeks and day shift after night shift the previous night! Ughh while I've been sick! I did have one day off because I literally could not even lift my arm I was so exhausted! I stayed in bed all day and drifted in and out of sleep! Had to force myself to get up and eat something to try and get some energy! Fucking crazy!!

But it's also come at a good time! Although I haven't been exercising and not as strict with my eating I feel great in my body! Obviously not the whole flu thing but I'm not hating my body as much as I have been! I've stopped being so stressed out and it's great to relax a bit! I have so much spare time lol I love the positivity flowing through my mind! I walk past the mirror and think I'm skinny instead of ragging on how I'm still huge and should go workout some more!
I feel at peace! I still want to achieve my goals and lose more body fat but there's no urgency and obviously right now my body needs a rest!
I look at all these healthy weightloss insta gram accounts and really wish I could be that dedicated!

My life is just a little too hectic right now for that! Of course ill still eat healthy and exercise but I need to focus on my family and our financial goals! Paying off our debt and saving for a house!so right now were working our asses off! Any spare hours I get I need to spend quality time with my family or resting! Immy goes to school next year so she won't be with me on my days off :-( everything will get a little cheaper and easier! Before we know it Evie will be starting school! I'm just taking this Flu as a sign to really stop and relax! Sometimes we can get caught up in the wrong things and I didn't realize how much my weightloss obsession was stressing my family out. I was always stressed out and negative. Always thinking I could do better or wasn't doing good enough was impacting on my family.

 

Woooosaaaa! :-) I've got atleast another 2 years before my metabolism really starts to slow down and even after then I'm sure I could lose the weight! I just don't want to be overweight when I'm older! I see it everyday and life is so much harder and they have so many more problems!! I want to be healthy and active when I'm old because I took care of my body! But most of all I want a happy mind! Cause ultimately that's what gets you through!
Listen to your body! Rest when you need rest!

Oohhh Man =(

Got my measuremnts done this morning!

Up + 1.6kgs

Up + .3% Bodyfat

Lost 1cm off Waist

Lost 1cm off Legs

Everything else was the same

SERIOUSLY?! BLAH!
I know i haven't really been putting in 100% so i wasnt expecting anything great! Im finding it really hard to get ontop of this meal prep thing! Im so bored.. Nothing to strive for! No money to do anything!! I didnt end up signing up to Spartan Sprint cause i didnt have the money.. cant see myself signing up for anything anytime soon so maybe have to try something else. Already bored of my workout plans.. not doing enough cardio! I died in SPIN last night! Thought i was going to have a heart attack and couldnt catch my breath! Wore my heart rate monitor for the first time in a few months! FINALLY figured out how to turn off the bossiness! haha

Just finding it hard to get over whatever it is thats holding me back.. probably my extremely stressful life.. Siigghh.. Just gotta keep pushing myself to choose better food options and making sure i have my morning tea! I skip morning tea only to be starving by afternoon tea and binge on crap food! Probably should clean out my cupboard but its hard when your husband and children dont follow the same healthy eating..

 

 

Im just super stressed out, exhasuted, bored, unorganised and kind of sick of being this half assed version of what i want.. I wish i could go on Biggest Loser! Or like Fat camp! Thatd be sweet! Just focus 100% on losing weight lol then come back to real life when im done!

 

 

Bit of a downer post.. sorry guys.. Its hard to keep pumping through everything! Just gotta take it one day at a time i guess.. and think of alternative wayt o exerscise.. Id really like to run/walk outside the fresh air is good and a bit of Vitimin D from the sun! Swimming and sauna is very relaxing! I loved SPIN and RPM total smash of a workout! Just dont stop because then itll just get worse..  

Motivational Monday

Thought id start these up again!

Cause you know I need them haha

 

This one gets me all the time! Im constantly comparing myself to what i should be!

 

What i want to be and then hating myself for not being there already. Its a bad mindset to be in! Takes so much of my thought power to trya nd turn it around into a positive! No youve done great look how far youve come go on look at old photos! My negative thoughts are a bitch and i hate them! FUCK OFF!!

Old photos!
Last time we were in queensland!

 

I LOVE MY PANTS!!!

This is me collapsed on the lounge after a massively sweaty workout!

 

A big motivator?

Fit Friends!

Its always nice having someone to workout with! Not all the time as sometimes its nice to get in your zone & listen to your music but its really nice to know that you have support! Also theyre a big motivator! Seeing their success inspires me to keep doing better!

 

 

The last pump class Skye did at Mt Annan =(

Sad days! Will have to join connections now! haha

 

My awesome kick ass sister in law!

She has been with me trying out my new programs!

Its good to know shes just as sore as i am hehe

 

 

This is adam! Ive known him since primary school!

Hes done so well lately with all his super hard work! I asked him for some advice on workouts and eating to really trim down! As you can see (this is an old photo too) he knows what hes doing!

So he wrote me some weights programs im going to try and help me with my nutrition!

Always looking for new advice and points of view.. how things have worked for other.

 Congrats Adz! Keep the hard work up dude youre keeping me motivated =)

 

 

 

 

Healthy Eating: New Generation!

THIS IS IT!!

BOOM!

*cue super speed and explosions awesome sound effects*

 Ok.. so.. ive laid down some new rules for my eating and have discovered some new things i really need to get into!

New thing no.1
THIS IS FOOD PREPPING!
Isnt it amazing! eeek! I LOVE IT! so organised.. i just dont know if id get bored.. You alternate every second day and i guess you can plan and prep whatever you want really.. the odea behind the every second day is youre buying bulk ingredients to save!
I love the containers i love the packs you can buy! Although unless you take it to work or work from a car i dont really see the advantage..

http://www.fireupsupplements.com.au/

 

 This is my little attempt.. this was only one day of prepping! Youre supposed to mix up the protein sources as well so if you have chicken swap to fish or another meat.

New thing no.2

GREEN SMOOTHIES!

These are super packed full of great nutrients! SUprisingly tastier than they look! I really need to get back into making soem good smoothies but im too lazy to clean the blender! BUT Laziness never got anyone anywhere! So just wash the damn thing up!

RULE NO.1
Atleast 3L (min. 2.6L) water a day!

RULE NO.2

Eat nothing for 2hrs before bed

only tea!

 

RULE NO.3

Better snack options!

 

This was one of my favourite dinners i made recently!!

Mediteranean chicken with cous cous, char grilled veggies, leb bread and hommus

 

 

 

 One of my beautifully healthy breakfasts while gazing at the view on holiday!

 

 

RULE NO.4

Start measuring and weighing your portions. Record everything you eat in My Fitness Pal

 

My breakfast this morning..

So i just need to stick to my new organisation and ill start seeing some results..

Weightloss Gods help me!